turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
