I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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