i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
40s are totally the cure
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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