you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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