erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
