Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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