and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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