Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
