Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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