what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
