I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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