I CAN MOONWALK!
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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