just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
