she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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