You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
