thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
