lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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