I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
