I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
