Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
