Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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