i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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