The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
