She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
