I seem to have left my pride at pride
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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