Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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