and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
