Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize