Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
