Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
There r osticjed everywhere
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
