i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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