Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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