summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
