Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
