I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
