so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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