So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
vagina is talking i cant
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
