this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
