i don't plan on having that self control this summer
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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