the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We had to coat check the pizza.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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