what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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