2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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