i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
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