Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
