Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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