I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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