what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
