This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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