# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
