wanna go halves on a baby?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
