Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
