I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize