her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Randomize
