woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
