Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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