We got so high we made milksteak
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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