Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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