your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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