Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
