i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
