sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
