She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
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For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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