walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
