Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
They took my balls.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
