I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
