remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
