i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize