I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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