Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
