Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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