This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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